20 Questions with Audrey Astor

Sometimes nerves can leave you tongue-tied, which is why I’ve created this cheat sheet for getting to know me. Of course, I’m a complicated woman and everything is subject to change, so you’ll need a few incisive questions up your sleeve when we meet. Let’s get started…

1. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Stretch like a cat, reach for my favourite toy, and make myself purr. What can I say? I’m a morning person.

2. What’s your favourite lie to tell a lover?

That I’ve never done this before…

3. Who would play you in a film?

Monica Bellucci — even if it’s not entirely accurate, I was always going to choose the sexiest

woman I could think of.

4. What’s your favourite word?

Petrichor. The smell of the earth after rain.

5. Favourite book on your nightstand?

Right now, Carlo Rovelli’s The Order of Time. Physics meets philosophy. Time, memory, desire, all tangled together.

6. Who was your first crush?

Robin Hood. Yes, the Disney fox. Please ask me about it.

7. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Ordering room service after sex. White sheets, bed hair, huge cheeseburger. We’ll need to leave housekeeping a big tip anyway, so pass the ketchup.

8. What song makes you feel sexy?

Leonard Cohen’s I’m Your Man or any of his music. The timbre of that man’s voice makes me feel confident he’ll keep his promises.

9. Favourite sport to play?

Golf. The crack of impact, the patience, the precision. I love to feel in control and I look cute in a white skirt.

10. And to watch?

Fencing. So refined, so brutal. Deadly choreography!

11. What’s the sexiest smell?

Ask the men who have licked my armpits.

12. What’s your favourite way to be touched?

What’s that line…? ‘The way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once’.

13. What’s your signature move?

Taking someone’s wrist to feel their pulse. Nurse!

14. Biggest turn-off?

Entitlement. We’re all lucky to be here, after all.

15. Where do you want to travel next?

Now the nights are drawing in I find myself fantasising about the tropics. Fecund greenery, exotic fruit, chirruping tree frogs. And the humidity is good for the skin — better than a spa.

16. How do you like to end an evening?

In the morning. With the sort of kiss that feels painful to bring to an end.

17. Do you believe in luck?

Yes. But I also believe in skill, timing, and preparation.

18. Do you prefer to give orders or take them?

Both. The thrill is in switching things up before they realise what’s happening.

19. What’s the best gift you’ve ever been given?

I love receiving all gifts, so long as they’re thoughtfully chosen. A friend once did give me a

fountain pen. Spending all morning writing in ink rather than typing on my computer always feels so luxurious. And illicit.

20. One piece of advice to anyone reading?

Speak, act and fuck with intention. Leave people richer than you found them.